Saturday, February 12, 2011

Aliens are Real

In an earlier post I wrote about vampires. In this post I am writing about aliens.

You see, not every danger to a business is an employee who sucks you dry and then gets angry when the blood runs out. Sometimes you’ll hire employees who don’t suck at all! But they can be even more dangerous than vampires.

We had an actress who began to sell for us and she was actually rather productive in sales. Unlike the example I gave in my last post, her intent was not to use us and drain us and leave us an empty hollowed out hulk of a company, which she kicked on the way out, a fat tick angry that the dog was no longer pumping delicious blood. Her intent was not that at all. Her intent was to invade us, co-opt us, and make our business hers.

It began by her refusing to sell in the ways we told her to. It morphed into her criticizing the way we were running things on every level, and then deciding she would promise clients not the things we actually did, but the things she thought we should be doing. She would get huffy when I would instruct her on our policy or tell her how things had to run. For instance, if she thought it was unreasonable for us not to promise a client a specific actor in a show, she would tell the clients that we would indeed guarantee a specific actor, or if we wouldn’t, that we certainly ought to.

She eventually stopped selling for us. Years later, she began selling for an agency in town, and she called and asked if the agency could represent us and our shows. I saw no harm in that – until she began to sell our shows via the agency the way she was selling them when working directly for us, which means not just selling for us at a distance, but attempting to manage our company at a distance. “She’s trying to take over our business and she doesn’t even work for us anymore!” I said to my wife.

There’s another former employee out there, who was productive and not parasitic, but who decided that after a week or two on the job, he knew how to run things a lot better than we did.  He always worked hard for us, but if he were still working for us, he would have taken over our business from the inside and would be the de facto owner-operator.

And we have the liberalists in the Church. They want not so much to suck the Church dead and kill it, they want to hollow it out and replace it with their own thing, keeping a form that retains nothing of its old substance. During the occupation, France was still France even though it had been invaded by and was being run by Germans. This is what invaders do, they don’t kill the thing they invade, they take it over and make it their own. As Father Mike says to a visitor in my play “Faith of our Father”, speaking of the techniques of the liberalists, “It’s just like a turkey. First you hollow it out, then you stuff it. Either way that bird is dead.”

So I’ve decided that these types should be called Aliens. The word “alien” just means “other” or “stranger”, and does not in itself imply invasion. But we know from science fiction movies that space aliens always invade and conquer. Sometimes they take over earthlings and are indistinguishable from them, like in the creepy 1960s series, The Invaders. And we know that illegal aliens (contrary to the political incorrectness such a statement involves), in effect invade a country and begin to possess it, even by means of squatter’s rights (this is in effect what happens, even though such illegal aliens are often victimized by the employers who take advantage of their services).

And so Aliens seems to be the proper term for what I'm describing.

I now have two types: Vampires and Aliens. And so my taxonomy continues.

If you have other types you’ve noticed in the business or ecclesiastical or personal world, please let us know via the combox.

1 comment:

LSP said...

Great blog, you'll forgive me for plundering alien pic.