Wednesday, September 12, 2012

A New Plan B

If my wife Karen leaves me and gets the marriage annulled, I have a plan.

For a long time the plan was Plan J - Judge Judy.  Now, I know she's kind of tough, but she's got great common sense and she don't take no crap from nobody.  I like that in a woman.  In fact, I'm used to that in a woman, as Karen don't take no crap from me.  And she's pretty darned rich and so for a while, I had decided I'd make a move on JJ if I were ever brought to that pass.

Then I had Plan B - Beyonce, because she's a real "trooper" as we say in show biz.  Alas, I don't think I'm Beyonce's type.  So I've lately despaired of the old Plan B.

But no more. Now I have a New Plan B - Bunny.

One of these girls is Bunny - the one I like; the other is Tigra - the one I don't.  Not sure which is which.

The great thing about YouTube is that when a rap song for some inexplicable reason comes into your head that you first heard 25 years ago, you can Google it and watch the original video.  A million years of human cultural development have brought us to this.

Now this video that popped into my head in a fit of pure unexpected anti-amnesia, is very 80's, and the accents are very - well, let me put it this way.  If Karen leaves me, I'm going to pick up Bunny and drive her around in my "kaw".  (And, if she likes me, we'll go "boom".  But not on the first date.)

Anyway, I don't like Lady Tigra at all.  She just doesn't do it for me.  But Bunny D?  Well, Bunny D. can kind of sort of dance - at least better than Tigra.

One small problem - Bunny is no longer the 18-year-old cutie she was when they made this video.  She's now a 43-year-old Indiana housewife with four kids and probably no residuals from one of the best (and worst) rap videos ever made.

Anyway, at least I've got a plan.

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