Monday, February 18, 2013

The Catholic Ghetto Quiz



Q. Define CATHOLIC GHETTO.

A. CATHOLIC GHETTO - n.  The cultural phenomenon in which orthodox Catholics are so hungry for solid teaching that they'll put up with anything, like tenants of a slum lord.  And because there are so few orthodox Catholics left, the slum lord can't collect enough rent even to keep the hot water turned on or the rats killed.  It becomes a vicious cycle - the consumers learn to be happy with crumbs, and the producers can't afford to provide anything other than crumbs.


Q. Use CATHOLIC GHETTO in a sentence.

A. "If a college happens to have a theology faculty that's loyal to the Magisterium and the teachings of the Church, that college is automatically one of the Cardinal Newman Society's Top Catholic Colleges in North America, even if the college is housed in a trailer in the Yukon, the faculty are two baptized Eskimos and a moose, and the students are former homeschool dropouts raised by Siberian wolves."


Q.  I couldn't find the phrase CATHOLIC GHETTO in that sentence.  Care to try again?

A.  "You mean people actually watch this on TV?  Well, normal people don't.  But orthodox Catholics do, because what the hell else is there for them to watch?  Wow. This show is so CATHOLIC GHETTO!"


Q. For five points, and a chance at the grand prize, rearrange the letters in CATHOLIC GHETTO to spell another phrase.  

A.  GOAT CLOTHE ITCH


Q.  EXTRA CREDIT: When will the CATHOLIC GHETTO end?

A. When the culture is once again Catholic.


Q. When will that be?

A. That, dear reader, is up to you.

1 comment:

jvc said...

Kevin, I think your writings on this topic are some of your best insights on this blog. I would say that this is a much more unique insight even than, say, the West stuff. No one is willing to admit or talk about this topic, and I find it incredibly refreshing that you do.

I think you are really on to something. I actually think it goes bigger than you describe it, possibly much bigger. It really is a much-encompassing problem with Catholic culture and civilization, today.

There is a willingness, even an eagerness, to withdraw from the world and create our own subculture apart from the larger culture. It is understandable that many would wish to withdraw from or protect against our modern culture. But, in response, we create something quite incomplete in and of itself.

I see the Catholic ghetto in the cult that Christopher West admits he came from, that Mother of God cult or whatever. I also see it in the withdrawn culture of a lot of homeschooling population.

Look at the John Michael Talbott group. I consider that a cult and part of the Catholic ghetto, possibly a founding institution of the Catholic ghetto. Like most in the Charismatic Renewal, they abuse the separation between the laity and the clergy. They also choose to withdraw from society via their living arrangements.

One quibble I might have is that I don't know I would call much of any of this "orthodox." You're orthodox, do you approve of this? Charismatic, evangelical, perhaps. I think an orthodox person is interested in producing real culture, not a boring side culture. Shakespeare, yes. Lifeteen Masses, no. Tolkien, yes. Fireproof, no.