Monday, February 18, 2013
The Catholic Ghetto Quiz
Q. Define CATHOLIC GHETTO.
A. CATHOLIC GHETTO - n. The cultural phenomenon in which orthodox Catholics are so hungry for solid teaching that they'll put up with anything, like tenants of a slum lord. And because there are so few orthodox Catholics left, the slum lord can't collect enough rent even to keep the hot water turned on or the rats killed. It becomes a vicious cycle - the consumers learn to be happy with crumbs, and the producers can't afford to provide anything other than crumbs.
Q. Use CATHOLIC GHETTO in a sentence.
A. "If a college happens to have a theology faculty that's loyal to the Magisterium and the teachings of the Church, that college is automatically one of the Cardinal Newman Society's Top Catholic Colleges in North America, even if the college is housed in a trailer in the Yukon, the faculty are two baptized Eskimos and a moose, and the students are former homeschool dropouts raised by Siberian wolves."
Q. I couldn't find the phrase CATHOLIC GHETTO in that sentence. Care to try again?
A. "You mean people actually watch this on TV? Well, normal people don't. But orthodox Catholics do, because what the hell else is there for them to watch? Wow. This show is so CATHOLIC GHETTO!"
Q. For five points, and a chance at the grand prize, rearrange the letters in CATHOLIC GHETTO to spell another phrase.
A. GOAT CLOTHE ITCH
Q. EXTRA CREDIT: When will the CATHOLIC GHETTO end?
A. When the culture is once again Catholic.
Q. When will that be?
A. That, dear reader, is up to you.