1. For JP2, shame is, at least in part, a good thing. It protects the body from the "appropriation" that the body is subjected to by lust.
2. Self-control is something that lust (concupiscence) damages. Far from being a sign of someone not in possession of "mature purity", custody of the eyes (which is a form of self-control) is a sign of someone whose original purity of heart is able to conquer, to a certain extent, the damage done by concupiscence. "Manifested as a 'coercion sui generis of the body,' concupiscence limits interiorly and reduces self-control," JP2 writes. The Westians would have you believe that self-control limits our ability to love; in fact, lust limits our self-control: and without self-control, we cannot love.
Somehow this all gets turned around in the pop-Catholic world. Somehow shame and self-control are degraded as signs of sinfulness and weakness. In fact, both shame and self-control are virtuous responses to the fallen human condition. JP2 is very clear on that.