Tuesday, May 6, 2014

False Charity and the Pseudo-Catholic

A guest post from The Pseudo-Catholic


Hi.  Pseudo-Catholic here.
Icon of the Pseudo-Catholic

I'm blogging from Starbucks, where I do much of my writing.  In a few weeks I graduate from an Evangelical-Catholic college and after that I'll be selling Cutco Knives door-to-door and handing out flyers on whole foods and the Yoga class I attend.

Here's what miffs me: the lack of charity when it comes to the Torture Debate.  The way some people get worked up over this - you'd think the issue was actually important!

Now I don't take sides here.  I'm neutral and proud of it!  I can consider the issue from all angles, dispassionately.  Maybe waterboarding is not torture (even though we've prosecuted others for doing it, and even though it's been recognized as torture for over 100 years).  Maybe torture is no big deal.  Maybe electing a Republican makes it all worth while.

See how Christian I am?

And while I'm at it, I think Jesus lacked a bit of charity when he cleansed the temple, kept nagging at the Pharisees and kept bringing up hell.  And when He said you can't divorce and remarry without committing "adultery" - well that's a bit judgmental, and it showed that He could not consider the situation dispassionately, the way I consider things here at Starbuck's.

Of course some people say that when I preach "charity", I'm just a coward who likes to turn my nose up at folks who rock my boat by showing me up and demonstrating how wrong I am about things.  But if you haven't noticed, more and more of us are using this tactic these days, especially on the internet, and the wifi here is pretty good, fast connection and all.  And I'm proud of my playlist.

So I must confess.  I'm not perfect!  I do get worked up over music, and saving babies and GMOs.  Especially music - LOL!  As Chesterton said (I think), "If a thing is done badly, it's worth being proud of it," and that's my motto for how I live my faith.  And the thing is, if you eat marcrobiotically processed foods containing soy culture viro-bacteria, it purifies you.  Plus you can distribute them through multi-level marketing.  "Make money now!  Ask me how!"

Anyway, if you care enough about something to get angry about it, you're sinning.  You need to go to confession.  You lack charity.  That's why I prefer to care about nothing.  At least nothing important.

Excuse me, I've got to get a refill.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Interesting satirical commentary on new aged Christianity/Catholicism..

Pope Francis' efforts of changing the Church's mindset is fantastic, but it does confuse/enrage the Vatican II haters. His efforts are so interesting to me because it seems very paralleled with the transition of Old to New Testament. In Old Testament, God is a (almost harsh) just yet tough-loving father. In the new testament we see Him as an ever forgiving, ever caring father that would do anything for His children. The problem with the Church having this Old Testament mindset is that we are not God. God is truth and justice. When we see Jesus "not being very charitable" in the Bible, it does not give us permission to do the same because we are not God, but He is. It is the classic misunderstanding of tolerance versus promotion, a line that Francis is walking like a judge at a DUI checkpoint. As popes of the past have taken the approach of Old Testament God, here arose atrocities that the Church is still trying to overcome. Francis is Matthew Chapter 1 and If the rest of the Church can pick up his vibes, the Catholic Church has a future in modern society.

- a YA Catholic

P.S. The whole Christians supporting the death penalty thing is the strangest idea ever