Thursday, September 18, 2014

Ardor and Love

Well, the Cardinal Dolan posts have gotten lots of views and lots of comments (especially on Facebook and via email), but let me try to get back to something a bit more helpful to all of us.

If you're anything like me, the ardor of your faith waxes and wanes.  Sometimes you feel more serious about God, sometimes less.

But here's something that occurred to me last night.  In my moments where I'm really stirred up, where I really can pray and pray quite honestly, "I love you, Jesus.  I will do anything for You.  Forgive my many sins and backslidings, and use me in any way You wish.  I want to give my all to You, like St. Paul the Apostle, like the Prophets, like those who have been on fire for Your love," - in those moments when I see the core of the meaning of life, and I know (as we all do, though sometimes it slips out of focus) that the meaning of life is giving ourselves entirely in a gift of love, then perhaps I can add a little prayer, "P.S., remind me of this the next time I'm tempted to sin.  Remind me of how true and genuine my love for You is.  Remind me of my ardor."

Now this takes some chutzpah.  After all, our love has to be strong and our ardor has to be genuine if we are to be reminded of it.

But I suspect that each of us, miserable and selfish souls that we all are, have someplace in us where we love with a great fervor, a shocking purity, an uncompromised devotion.  If we do, it is God's grace, the seed of eternal life in us, the key to the Kingdom.  If we do, though it be hidden and buried (sometimes deliberately buried out of cowardice and out of disdain for the suffering we know letting it out will bring) - if we have this, it is God's presence stirring and growing within us as it stirred and grew within Mary when she said Yes to the angel those many years ago.

1 comment:

Christian LeBlanc said...

"Forgive my many sins and backslidings, and use me in any way You wish." I wouldn't say that prayer until I was in my 50s. More accurately: I wouldn't say it until I meant it.