Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Dear Cardinal Dolan: I'm an IRISH ADULTERER and I'm Proud of It!

Dear Cardinal Dolan,

A friend on Facebook suggests I write to you.  Of course I've not only written to you in the past, I've even written short speeches for you, which (as far as I know) you haven't used.

And I'll keep this brief, too.

You claim that if a person marches behind a "gay banner" in a public parade, he's simply self-identifying as having same-sex attraction, which is something the Church does not judge.  We're concerned with actions, not inclinations.  Marching behind a banner that advertises your sexual orientation is not only fine, it's something that has elicited a "bravo" from you in the past.  After all, nothing trumps the great and wonderful truth of sexual identity, right?  And being tempted to commit sodomy is no big deal - though the Church teaches that if I willingly give in to it, I could go to hell.  In fact, that temptation defines who I am, correct?  And I should be proud of that; in fact I should parade that in public - in front of little kids and everything.  I mean, this is what your recent defense is saying, in effect.

But, your excellency, what if there were a group in the St. Patrick's parade that marched under the banner IRISH ADULTERERS?  As we know, adultery is common and many adulterers have marched in many parades in the past, though covertly, as have many "gays".  Now, I'm Irish-American and, while I don't have an inclination to members of my own sex, I am quite strongly attracted to women who are not my wife.

This being my "inclination", could I walk under the IRISH ADULTERERS banner?  After all, I'm not (as I write this) actively committing adultery, even adultery of the heart.  But, boy, I sure the heck am tempted to.  In fact, even though I have not had sexual intercourse with a woman other than my wife since I've been married, I consider IRISH ADULTERER to be a pretty accurate description of my identity - of who I am, way down deep.

So I could walk under an IRISH ADULTERERS banner and this would be fine, correct?  It would give no mixed messages about Church teaching or my own assent to it, right?

And my wife should not be upset with me, either - correct?

I'm just following your own logic, your grace.  Tell me, please, if I'm at all wrong.

Yours in Christ,



Anonymous said...

Very good. Makes the point without attacking the foolishness that says "I will betray souls under my care in order that I be liked." Those who betray Our Lord to be liked by the world are truly Bad Bishops.


Kevin O'Brien said...

"Am I trying to please men or God? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." (Gal. 1:10)

Tom Leith said...

You're not an adulterer until you've committed adultery. Maybe you need a banner "The Brothers O'Priapi" or something.

Kevin O'Brien said...

No, Tom. According to Cardinal Dolan, I am already an IRISH ADULTERER, just because I'm tempted in that direction. According to Dolan, you can be a Gay Irish-American if you've never had gay sex. It's your urges and feelings that define your sexual orientation, you see - and your sexual orientation defines WHO YOU ARE. It's your identity, don't you know.

That's why it's no big deal that Gays are Proudly marching under their parade banner. Being GAY doesn't mean you have anal, oral or manual sex with others of your own gender. Those acts we condemn, but the ORIENTATION is hunky dory, you see.

And my ORIENTATION is adultery, through and trough. So I'm an IRISH ADULTERER and PROUD of it. Because it's the way God made me.

I just hope my wife Karen understands and doesn't throw anything at me while I'm marching.

Tom Leith said...

Are you kidding? She & I will set up a tire in your back yard and practice throwing rotten vegetables through the center as it swings, so we can reliably hit a moving target on parade day.

But once again I have been too oblique -- I'm trying to make the same point. The Brothers O'Priapi suffer an objective disorder.