Anonymous (another Anonymous or the same one?) replies to my post The Mystery of Finding Love, and since apparently my point wasn't clearly made, I'll insert it here in Fr. Z-style red.
Honestly, I don't think you get the point here.
Devout Catholics aren't dating people they don't find physically or emotionally attractive just because that is some fetish of theirs.It's because there are so few Devout Catholics around and they are so hard to meet that if you find one, it could be your only chance to get married at all.Date someone you can tolerate but don't love in romantic sense. Or be alone and feel that you are just going to sit and rot for the rest of your life.My point is that this is a false dichotomy. That's not really the choice that's open to you.The sheer loneliness of being a Devout Catholic is crushing at times. Our parishes ignore us.There is nothing as discouraging as watching your prime family building years waste away -- or in my case, disappear further and further back in the rear view mirror.
Actually, that red bit was my only comment.
But let me expand upon it - our faith becomes a neurosis when it interferes with our ability to deal with the real world or even (frankly) with our ability to be faithful to God; and we will not be true to our vocation until we are faithful to God.
God is good and life is filled with good people, even though this day and age most good people are Anonymous Christians and are not self-consciously "devout"; perhaps it was ever thus. And so the choice is not between dating someone you don't like who happens to share your level of seriousness about the Catholic Faith and dating some atheist you're hot for who only wants sex and no babies. There are plenty of sane attractive men in between: men who aren't seriously devout but who understand, though they may not be able to verbalize it and though they may never go to church, that God not only exists but is very active in our lives, especially in the good that's all around us, and who totally get the Big Two: love God and love your neighbor. In contrast, there are a lot of Devout Catholics who can spew off a dozen devotional prayers daily, but who don't get the Big Two. Beyond that, to think that you're obligated to marry a man who shares the same level of devotion you do (especially if you're very devout) is exactly like demanding that God provide you a soul mate within your very specific nine-digit zip code. But there's been a lot of resistance to my pointing that out, so I must be on to something.
Which is this. I am beginning to suspect that much of this trouble comes from using the Faith as a contraceptive device, as a barrier to keep something real from clicking, from catching on, from carrying us out of our damned comfort zones, and from bearing forth the blessing of unexpected fruit.
I am updating this post because one key point Anonymous makes sticks out.
The sheer loneliness of being a Devout Catholic is crushing at times. Our parishes ignore us.
There's an antidote to this. Don't ignore your parish.
Start a Bible Study. Start an after-Mass catechism class. Start a movie club or a book club where you discuss movies and books from a Catholic perspective. Will the pastor give you grief? Maybe. Will it be hard to get these things off the ground? Probably. Will this involve inconvenience and mild suffering? Certainly.
As I said in the post you're commenting on, I got to a point in my life where I realized no one would hire me to do what I loved, and that I had to hire myself. I've been writing and producing my own shows ever since. It has been neither easy, nor comfortable. But it's what God was calling me to do.