Tuesday, September 9, 2014

The Yoke's on You

Said Mrs. Cow to Mr. Cow, "Bull!"

Anonymous comments on one of my recent posts, and I respond (my comments in between)  ...

Kevin, I get that you're trying to get singles to date non-catholics. You don't need all this pseudo philosophy and hipster intellect to make that clear. 

I'm sinfully proud of my pseudo philosophy and hipster intellect, so I flaunt it everywhere I go.  It helps me pick up chicks.  You should try it yourself.  And I'm not trying to get Catholics to date non-Catholics.  I'm suggesting that super-devout Catholics might want to consider dating outside of their metaphoric nine-digit four-square-block zip code, and that there are plenty of good women out there who believe in Christ but who may not be as self-consciously serious about it as you.

But my faith, my relationship with God is the biggest aspect of my life. If I can't share my faith with my future wife, that's most of my life I can't share with her. It wouldn't be a sacramental marriage as God intended.

If you and your wife are both baptized, and all of the other factors are in place, your marriage can be - and will be - validly sacramental regardless of her level of devotion or yours.  Get that part right.

The bible itself commands us to not be unequally yoked, that is how serious it is.

The Bible verse our friend refers to is 2 Cor. 6:14.

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

Now, none of these Catholic Dating posts of mine is written to encourage any Catholic to marry someone wicked, or someone given over to darkness.  I'm not even saying it's a good idea for a Catholic to marry a baptized unbeliever.

But if you honestly believe that a woman who is casually Catholic (as most Catholics are) or who is Protestant or Eastern Orthodox is an unbeliever, is dark or wicked, then your problem is probably Feeneyism.  And nobody wants to date a Feeneyite!  So there's your problem right there.  See the goodness of God in others and recognize that "no salvation outside of the Church" is a doctrine of grace and mercy, because the Church is far bigger than our narrow eyes typically perceive it to be.

And, as I said before, look for a good woman.  For all goodness comes from Christ and no one is able to be good without Him.  If you find a good woman, you may find yourself surprised that she's a far better lover of Christ and her neighbor than you - even if she doesn't go to daily Mass and pray the Rosary.  You know, Anonymous, there's a chance that you're really not "Holier than Thou" - which is perhaps why you're having trouble finding a "Thou".

Besides catholics already have around 40% of mixed marriages in the U.S.A, so it's not like they are excluding non-catholics as you've concluded. (Source: http://www.foryourmarriage.org/catholic-marriage/church-teachings/interfaith-marriages/)

I'm not addressing Catholics who are married.  I'm addressing Devout Catholics who are having trouble getting married.  I'm addressing you.

And if you, Anonymous, show up at a girl's house on a first date with a day planner to make sure she's got a Saturday in May free two years hence, just in case you hit it off and want to get married - if, before you take her to the malt shop, you make sure she understands the difference between mortal sin and venial sin because dating the damned is not your idea of a good time - if, before you shake her hand firmly and platonically before ending your evening, you tell her how high your standards are and make sure she knows she needs to be as holy as you if you're going to call again ... well, if you do all these things, Mrs. Anonymous may be a long time coming.

***

But I'm being flip, and that's not fair.

This is a hard issue, and I know people suffer over it, as you are suffering, Anonymous.

Nevertheless, some people are stubbornly and deliberately misreading me, and there's a reason for that.





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