Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from June, 2013

What Jesus Really Said

Did you know that Jesus told the Pharisees to kill their own children? That's what a Facebook friend insists Jesus said. He proves it by quoting this from Matthew 15:4-7 "For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is ‘devoted to God,’ they are not to ‘honor their father or mother’ with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you." See?  It's right there in black and white! How could we have missed it all these years? Well, I called him a moron for reading that into this passage and he told me I'm uncharitable and using ad hominems  to avoid the argument.  I'm surprised he didn't tell me to go to confession and that he'd pray for me. He also - I am not making this up- bragged about bein...

The Pope and Anti-Semitism

Deacon Kandra reports ... Pope Francis says due to “our common roots” with the Jewish people, “a Christian cannot be anti-Semitic!” Now, I know we've tussled about this before, dear readers.  And I'm well aware that none of you is "anti-semitic", and you don't "hate Jews", but Jews are the problem and who can say what is a Jew anyway and how dare I defend the enemies of Christ and the Jews killed Kennedy and the Jews elected Obama and the Jews are hiding under our beds and the Jews ... Well, due to our common roots (not to mention the universal commandment to love one another), a Christian cannot be anti-Semitic. Exclamation point. Read the Pope's full text here .

The Tease

Today I received an email from the Tease. Gosh!  I had no idea you would be reading this.  And look at what I'm wearing! Kevin, we really want you to perform at our parish picnic fish fry fundraiser.  We really really do.  Can you send me a contract? Oh, well, we can't pay you.  So it will have to be a free show.  And you'll have to pay your own way here, and we're at Fr. Corapi's Montana Ranch, so it's not cheap to get here. Did I say cheap?  That's what the boys used to call me!  My!  Has my strap been down like that the whole time I've been talking to you?   You are the most amazing man I've ever known.  I'm enclosing a link to photos of me reading your blog at a nudist colony in Saskatchewan.  I really want to hear back from you. How dare you click on that link!   Stop stalking me!  I never want to hear from you again!  I am calling my lawyer! Miss you. The Tease      ...