Monday, February 2, 2015

Maybe the World Doesn't Hate Us Because We're Christian - Maybe It Hates Us Because We're Stupid and Incredibly Narcissistic

Yeah, OK, "Devout Catholic" is great, "Young Catholic" is great, "Chastity" is great.

But give me a break.

This is from The Chastity Project ...

“The first few months we dated, I never knew he drank. I would have never guessed it because, after all, he went to mass every Sunday. One time, he invited me to go out with his friends. He kissed me when he was drunk. I felt so dirty after. No girl grows up dreaming one of her first kisses would be in a dive bar with a wasted boyfriend."

The article goes on to point out the dangers of alcoholism and binge drinking, and God bless them for that.  But the above quotation, which the author claims is from a "true story, retold with permission" reeks of the kind of Unreality that you only find at suburban Masses.

I'm assuming the "retelling" is what makes me retch.  I hope so.  If it's a direct quote, we're in trouble.

I mean, are there really young Catholic women who think that going to weekly Mass means absolutely anything at all when it comes to judging someone's character, or even how serious a person is about his Faith?  And are there real people who really say, "He kissed me when he was drunk. I felt so dirty after."???

How far this is from Reality - from any maturity, from anything but a weird kind of 1950's version of a Hallmark movie - this is what bothers me.  Yes, alcoholism is a problem, and chastity is a key virtue, and it's great that some Catholics take their Faith seriously ... but this is not an example of taking your Faith seriously.  This is not an example of being "mature in Christ".

This is an example of a puerile banality that is far more make-believe than fiction.

And even if this is a fictional quotation, made up by the author, we're still in trouble.  On what planet does this kind of contrived and artificial approach to life and dating actually work?  Who is this quotation trying to reach, trying to appeal to?

And, by the way, why on earth would you go to a "dive bar" if getting kissed there is so offensive to you?

It would kind of be like this ...

The first few months we dated, I never knew she was a guy in drag.  I mean, she carried a rosary.  The hairy legs were a give away, but still.  And then when she lifted up her skirt and showed me her mail genitalia at that gay bar on the East Side ... well, who wants your first glimpse of the naked flesh of your lover to be at a seamy gay bar on the East Side?  I felt so cheap.  No guy grows up fantasizing about his first moment of intimacy occurring at a gay bar on the East Side. 

... only worse, only more stupid, only more mindless, only more inane.

Maybe the world doesn't hate us because we're Christian.  Maybe it hates us because we're stupid and incredibly narcissistic.


Scott W. said...

"And, by the way, why on earth would you go to a "dive bar" if getting kissed there is so offensive to you?"

That can be shortened to, "Why on earth would you go to a dive bar?"

It reminds me of Malcolm MacYoung's No-nonsense self-defense. He remarks that he is always astounded by how people will create and remain in situations that will get them physically assaulted and even when it becomes manifestly clear that blows are coming to pretend it's not happening.

Kathleen Ritter said...

Hey, stop giving dive bars a bad name! I'd much rather have a beer with a friend in a dive bar or than get all gussied up to go to a fancy bar or night club. Although, the best of all worlds is a nice brewpub.

Anonymous said...

Good catch Kevin...

the whole thing stinks of false-naivity.

One does not become drunk in the blind of an eye, (if it did occur) she probably watching him continually drink throughout the night to the point where eventually she stayed to see him cross over into intoxication.

And was comfortable with his "wasted" state long enough for him to kiss her.

" of her first kisses..."

Furthermore, her obsessive chastity fetish made the kiss seem like a rape.

I'm not knocking chastity but her 'chastity' comes off like Duke Orsino's "love" in Twelfth Night i.e. as a vain parody of the actual virtue itself.

It's not informed by reality.

But maybe I'm being over-critical.

Michael R

Anonymous said...

The whole thing - from the book cover to the post is so frickin' funny...thanks Kevin! I needed that laugh.


Tom Leith said...

Her solution is to start drinking herself? What, "He MADE me do it?" Really?

Nope, you don't get a break. You see, "Devout" means "Puritan".

How about this: Dating is about marriage. Don't date anyone you wouldn't want to marry as s/he is, right now. If you start getting to know somebody and discover that you don't want to marry him or her as s/he is right now, say your goodbyes and move on. Whether or not your wants are reasonable is another question, but whilst love is always unreasonable, marriage mustn't be.

Kevin O'Brien said...

But, really, the quotation that begins this article has got to be made up. No one talks like that. The author of this piece has "retold" a story that she's heard from a few girlfriends. She's not quoting an actual person saying actual words. Don't let the quotation marks fool you.

Portia's Sister said...

One of my best kisses ever was outside a dive bar.

I disagree, Kevin, that the quote is necessarily made up. I hear young women speak like this all the time in conservative Catholic circles.

And the sad fact is that most healthy, normal adults in the Western World consider keeping sex only within marriage just as extreme, silly, and unrealistic.

This is why the dating situation for someone who hopes to do is so incredibly dire and hopeless: the 'normal' ones WON'T date you (or the ones who will are verrrry few and far between, and then you may not be attracted to them, or share any common interests), and the ones who WANT to date you are often folks like this Chastity Project writer (or, in my case, the male equivalents).

Anonymous said...

"...It reminds me of Malcolm MacYoung's No-nonsense self-defense..."

Good point by his name and handle is MARC "Animal" MacYoung--sorry for the nitpicking

--Saber Bob, Topeka KS